Test of Will

I'm getting to that point of where my will could be broken. That being said, I feel that I have quite a big resistance, but recently things have not been going as well.

I have a certain amount of expectations of which I'm not reaching. That in turn, is effecting my confidence in my plays, and I'm still finding out a lot of leaks even at this stage of the game. I'm a perfectionist. So maybe I'm emphasizing the leaks as being something that is bigger then it actually is.

That being said, last year I pretty much did shit until the last quarter of the year. So hopefully this year can be the same. I have basically tripled what I've earned every year of being a poker player, and if that happens these last 4 months are gonna be epic.

Maybe Jarad Tendler will say all these negative thoughts are not helpful. I love the idea of learning in a process orientated way, rather then through results, but there comes a point where [as a human] we cant help but think of what could have been.

I'm not one to be secretive about my results. In fact I'm a big advocate for free open source mentality over protective secret money patent shhhhh mentality (Wikipedia wins over Encarta all day). But I'm pretty damn embarrassed tbh;

Yes, you've played me and said "Oh, thats Puyan the B.E player. How the fuck did he get a star??lol"

I guess its going upwards... kinda?? lol. My excuse is that I'm learning, I suppose. But how long am I gonna be learning for geez? Note that the first 5k games are STTs. I'm actually shocked at how bad my hand reading skills are, even to this day. That's what I get for simply finding a mathematical shoving "theory" and applying it mindlessly.

If I didn't have other sources of income I would be in big trouble right now. But I cant keep doing this for long, the pressure is on! I did actually move for this reason, but didn't expect such a bad turn of events. Hopefully things will pick up. I've realised that I haven't actually played over 1500 180m in a month, so I'm gonna try and reach 2k by the end of the month, which means 600 games in 4 days.

I know I'm better then this. In fact I have a few coaches who said that to me. But lets see if the results flow... only time will tell. I'm hoping that I will get my love for the game back, because in all honesty I'm struggling badly to get up and want to play.

GG

GG = Good Game.

In Starcraft 2, it is what is written when you surrender, so whoever GG's first is the loser. I lost the prop bet, but ended up, so strangely enough I'm actually happier then when I did the last prop bet, because I felt like I put in higher volume, and won money lolz. But I could have done better, however my friend from Thailand doesn't like forsight so she randomly told me she was visiting and I couldn't play for a few days...

Here are the Results;

Total Games = 1000 games on the dot!
Days Played = 8 out of 14
Running Profit = $617 (Average buy in $7)
Final Score = 1085pts


Whyme's Results;

Total Games = 849
Days Played = 13 out of 14
Running Profit = $3543 (Average buy in $10)
Final Score = 1651pts

GG indeed.

Tbh I'm quite happy with my volume considering I only played 8/14 days. I was really hoping to play something within the region of 10-12 days, but when I found out that I had to take some days off I adjusted and played longer sessions of around 120+ games when I did play.

What was frustrating was that the first 4 days I was like totally breakeven. Like literally 450 games worth = $30 haha. But that's why they call it a grind! These games can be really annoying, so many close calls, and the bad beats that cost you so much potential $$$.

But I guess you have to run pretty good at these to win, and Whyme totally did that. I got skooled, and congrats to him he deserved it. I probably didn't put in my A game, with the longer sessions I do find it harder to concentrate. But at least it wasn't an epic fail like the last bet I had where we didn't make any money.

Whyme has "designed" an avatar for me that he thought was funny;

However, he probably forgot that avatars are tiny so no one can actually read the text;

So apparently I've decided to change my avatar to Bart Simpson singing something that no one can read. It could be waaaay worse lol, so I'm pretty happy with that. I can totally think of way more embarrassing stuff then that. Whatever tickles Whyme's fancy... I don't get German humour lol.


EPIC SHOWDOWN OF THE DAY

Gave me a heart attack!!


PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, 3.5 Tournament, 6000/12000 Blinds 1200 Ante (3 handed) - PokerStars

Hero (SB) (t176305)
BB (t179109)
Button (t444586)

Preflop: Hero is SB with 10, 10

1 fold, Hero bets t72000, BB raises to t177909 (All-In), Hero calls t103105 (All-In)

Noooo I'm LOSING!!!

Flop: (t353810) Q, Q, 10 (2 players, 2 all-in)

YESSSS I'm Winning!!! Full House Baby!

Turn: (t353810) Q (2 players, 2 all-in)

NOOO Freaking Way?? Zomg Q Vito'd my T! House over house zomg!!

River: (t353810) 10!!!!!!!!!!!!! (2 players, 2 all-in)

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH CASE TEN!!! QUADZZZ!! MWAHHAHAHAHAHA!!

Total pot: t353810


Annnnd I lose HU. Aw well, cant win em all...